Thursday, August 03, 2006


A relationship between two people-- a real gut loving, wanting, giving relationship -- pushes an individual into something different than individuality. It is not that you *lose* your SELF (well, some people do, but this is not healthy and not what I'm talking about). Instead, your self changes. Though you are YOU, and the more you ARE you, the better the love is, you have this other person whom you also love so much that it hurts in your chest sometimes. And what you love is giving to that person...

Today I wonder about the balance. Standing on yellowed grass, clean wind and sheet-blue sky, I face this love, hot air balloon-big and bright. I can't pick it up with both hands to give it, nor see the whole thing in a glance. It's hard to find myself in proportion. Hot air balloon love is sweet as can be because it lets you FLY. And some days like this, when the wind is sweet from grasses, all I want to do is be swept away.

But the distance is key too -- seeing sharp color against sky and hill and the backdrops of days.

The question of balance: your own needs and space and wants --and-- giving open handedly, letting go into the wind.

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