Today I am 12 weeks pregnant, and I hoped to wake up with the spell of gagging, burping, general nausea, and gloom magically broken, replaced by a burst of energy and a singing leap into the second trimester of energy, wonder and well-being. Instead, I woke up groggy and hungry at 5:35 and by 10AM had eaten 3 breakfasts...
During brunch with some friends (breakfast #3), I felt my eyes glaze over and all social graces evaporate as I watched conversation tumble around the table. Then for some reason, after swiftly exiting with wrestling son, dirty pie plate, and cellophane-wrapped gifts piled in my arms, I decided the thin moment before lunch and nap was an opportune time to pick up the Christmas cards we still needed. Where do these decisions come from? By the time we were home, even my bones were tired.
I fed Silas, barely carried him up to nap practically dumping him in his crib, and napped myself in the narrow, dusty loft, where I woke slightly sweaty and too soon, with a chattery mind and restlessness that kept me from sleeping again.
I am surprised to feel the pull of two children already: the lime-sized demander in my belly who is some energy vortex sucking up every reserve I have, and Silas, the talking discoverer, who wants more than ever to be held, carried, played with, and who seems most certainly to sense my exhausted withdraw. What will life be like come July, when the lime has a mouth??
The grace in my day is that Amy has shingles! (sorry, Ames) which means that she is home from work at the hospital and could help me anchor a semblance of sanity this afternoon during the witching hours. We successfully dodged the man and his 13 and 16 year old sons (a family that still practices the art of apprenticeship and family business) who are resurfacing our complex decking VERY SLOWLY and POORLY (why, oh why, are we on the Home Owners board in charge of these projects??) and went out for an afternoon philly cheese steak and diet coke. (She is pregnant too).
And so, we shall see what tomorrow brings... Off to dinner #2.