Summary

Today: no school for Silas. no run because I didn't want to push a heavy stroller. no Ben because he's on a trip. a big Target trip. a run-in with a friend there that enabled me to survive herding hungry children and hungry self through the rest of our list and through check-out. a douse of hope about a house we may or may not soon live in. a sunny hour on the beach making sand milkshakes and sitting nose-to-nose. a relief to be playing instead of preoccupied. a kind neighbor who lent me his phone charger. another kind neighbor who knocked on my door to tell me my keys were in the lock. a tiff with my mom on a dying cell phone. a dinner of spaghetti with cauliflower, crumbled bacon and Parmesan. a daughter who refused shoes all day, yet wore tights and sneakers on the sand. a son who stepped in to do everything right whenever he saw me become impatient. an achy-ness, wanting to love him fully and deeply enough. sitting on the couch to watch the office with tea, hot cookies, and a friend. a clock that reads too late. tired eyes and a spinning head.