a little more Eden

Sally visits only rarely, these days.  But Bella still spends quite a lot of time with us.  Usually she wants to talk about college where she does art, ties ribbons or does "bouqueting."  Or else she meets up with us on her way to "skate camp" where she skateboards a lot.

Yesterday I met Ivy for the first time.  She's my age.  But she still has a hard time buckling her booster, which maddens us both.  Her baby is called Margarita and sometimes "munches bitty zucchinis" -- they'd have to be bitty since baby Margarita is only about three inches long and is sometimes still in utero.  Ivy spends a lot of time buckling and unbuckling Margarita into various spots.

At night these charming girls/friends/sisters leave and Eden is replaced by Needen, a semi-consciousness hellion.

Sleep had finally became delicious for a small time in our house, but nights again are riddled with waking.  I find myself climbing into bed with the newborn pit in my stomach -- the dread of having to wake again in just a few hours and then again, and again, and again.  For a while we woke because of a persistent night cough, because someone had to go to the bathroom or needed a fresh diaper or had kicked off blankets and was cold.  But these days, we wake because of Needen.

Needen starts off crying in a normal, child-like way calling for Mama, but then lingers in a half-dream state, adamant and refusing any comfort (or reason).  We meet her a few times every night, and I think Ben might murder her.  A conversation with Needen might go like this (and, in fact, did go like this two nights ago):

[2AM]

whimpering, crying.
Mama!  I want my Mama!

I force myself out from the covers into the cold air.
Coming Eden.

Crying crying

I sit down next to her

Hold ME!!!!

I touch her.  She reels from my touch, screaming.  (Silas is on the top bunk)

Sh Sh Shhh, it's ok.

THE FIRE PIT!  I want a fire in the FIRE PIT!!!

?

YOU SAID WE COULD HAVE A FIRE IN THE FIRE PIT!  Screaming, crying.

Ok.  We can make a fire tomorrow.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Eden, it's the middle of the night.

Screaming, crying.  YOU SAID!
I want the FIRE PIT!!

More crying.
Hold me Mama.

I touch her.

NOOOOOO!  Screaming and squirming away from me.



And on it goes.
Oh Needen, please don't come here any more.