Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Back in Pacific Standard Time. Sort of.

I have that vague feeling I had with a newborn as I faced the long, broad day ahead with an edge of anxiety wondering how I would ever get to the other side. What does one DO all day?

The first day home with the kids after weeks away is like this. I feel like I'm trying on someone else's clothes. And they're kind of itchy. I wander. I can't quite find a rhythm. I feel alone, which I am after so many days of living with parents, sisters, brothers, in-laws. I am back in my space. And I can't quite remember how I do that.

This is today.

The day began at 4:55, which is a bit better than I expected. But at 1:30 I am DYING for a hard long nap, and Miss Eden is uninterested and crying in her bed. We aren't quite moving together yet.

And so I shall go get her. And wake up Silas in a bit and plunk the three of us on the beach in hopes that the sight of ocean will throw me into perspective and that the sun will reset our clocks.

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