At the end of the first week

We've snapped our first-day-of-school pictures and sit nearly at the end of our first full week.  Both kids, thankfully, waltzed into their new classrooms with hardly a look back.  And though I've bypassed weepiness and pangs of loss this September, I am keenly aware that I have no idea what we've begun.  And, indeed, this is a beginning.  More than one afternoon already, I've sat at the kitchen table for half an hour sorting through a stack of papers that came home in Silas's bag.  I'm selling wrapping paper already!  (any takers?) -- a sure sign of public school -- and have already written, what feels to be dozens of checks already for the PTA's varied faces.  

We walk to school each morning, and Eden and I walk to pick up Silas in the afternoons.  My mom visited last week and told me that I'd always remember these days, how old fashioned to walk a block hand-in-hand, and as soon as she said it, I could already feel the future nostalgia creeping in.  

What's strange is how unfamiliar this rhythm feels -- I want to jump in my car and race somewhere, I'd rather jump in my car and race than meander down the alley at a 3 year old's pace.   So it will take some learning to embody these days.

This week has also proved my un-readiness for Silas's sudden social craving.  I was positive that at the end of his new long days, Silas would long for down time and bask in the afternoon hours of playing with Eden and me.  Instead, every day I pick him up and he's dying to go to the park with the boys, dying to.  Yesterday when I made him come straight home, he walked down the street yelling, "I am SO MAD AT YOU!" all the way to the corner.  And he was.  So we learn together, and make adjustments.  

Eden has had only two days of school, but already I am wondering (and apparently she who asks, "when can I go to school every day??" is wondering) why in the world I signed her up for only two days.  Earlier I was obsessing over whether or not to switch her to three days when I stopped by the park to say hi -- a good reality check for what's worth letting consume my mind.

And now, post-back to school night, the house is quiet and I am drinking cheap wine while Ben is at a fantastic going away dinner for his boss (he's texting me about his dry ice cosmo -- got to love a man who orders a cosmo -- and seafood tower right now).  Tomorrow will wrap up week #1 and we'll all have learned a bit more.