Saturday, October 06, 2012

Eden. (still articulating this, but words from my journal yesterday)

Eden changed under my hands.  Literally.  She walked into the hospital room two weeks ago as the little Eden I've known, there to meet her new sister.  But when I touched her, she was different -- substantial, solid, a child.  Hers was a new, grown body.

Until that day, she had been Tiny Joye -- our small one.  Then in one day, after only four hours of a newborn in our hands, she suddenly wasn't.

Each day since then, I have marveled at Eden.  Her capability is not surprising.  Her bright chirpy helpfulness I have seen before.  Her lengthening legs we have noticed, stretching before our eyes.  But to touch her -- this is different.  To pull her on my lap, which I guess I haven't properly been able to do for a couple of months, she is BIG.  How did I not see this three weeks ago?

There is nothing "baby" about Eden.  The one shy of seven pounds and floppy-limbed, yes, she is a baby.  Eden, articulate and full of songs, is become something else, the big and the little at once.

Through the weeks, I've heard Ben say it again and again, almost to himself, "you're so big, Eden" -- he can't seem to keep the words from tumbling out.  We are struck.  

She is well named: Eden.  The garden God made when He closed his eyes and imagined the most beautiful place he could -- a place of Shalom, of creative joy expressed, fresh, vivid, sweet-smelling -- Eden.  I imagine that the vibrant beauty would knock us out, that those who lived there must have been surprised again and again by what was given, by how their understanding had been limited.  How could they not live in a constant discovery?

In some way, Eden, you were also born on the first day of Fall, born into a new Light.  We all were, as happens on single days that rearrange our lives as we've known them.  You, my sweet girl, who calls me Mama out of a night fever and let's me hold you and rock away your tears, you have become, once again, new to discover -- and we marvel.

marvel: (v) to be filled with wonder or astonishment
(n) a wonderful or astonishing person or thing
from Old French merveille: wonderful

1 comment:

Kathleen said...

makes me cry and eerily exactly how i have felt with charles. you are so gifted with words.