I wrote this a couple months ago:
"I have friends who are in the midst of the adoption process. They are in the hardest part -- open-ended waiting.
To begin the process, along with filling out and completing a billion forms, having their house approved, and making endless decisions most potential parents never even consider, they had to submit a scrapbook about themselves for birth-mothers to peruse. Talk about naked vulnerability! Not only did they have to state clearly what they wanted -- your baby -- they also had to let someone else interpret (and potentially misunderstand) who they are. All the more scary today when a birth-mother can sit at a computer, google you, and paste together who you are from the scraps that pop up!
Trying to adopt= courage. To tell someone (or many people) that you want to adopt, raise, have their child and then to sit back to wait for someone to approve of you and want you back -- THAT is giving up control. Really giving it up. All games are gone, the channels of communication and requalifying are closed -- it's just you, standing on honesty, waiting.
AND what makes this REALLY beautiful is that 3 weeks ago these friends got a call that a birth mother wanted them!! And last Monday, their daughter was BORN!! They are taking her home today. Bursting joy*