So, here I am in the w a i t i n g . Somehow I arrived here much earlier this time around. And somehow I arrived here with great restlessness. It's hard to relax when perched at the top of a free-fall ride waiting for the bouncing teases to be THE bounce that will plummet us toward the ground with exhilarating speed. . . But seeing as that's where I am, I would like to relax and, as I always tell myself to do on those rides when my hands are sweating, my heart is about to bust through my chest, and I am literally praying for my life, to look at out at the horizon and take in the view.
But, the view from up here is a little scary (and doused with hormones). It involves a new baby + a toddler and lots of change. And change-- unlike moving or chopping off all my hair, or taking a new job -- that I can't quite plan or control.
Thinking about all of this -- which includes waking up every hour during the night to think about it some more and scratch down details and tidbits in the dark beside my bed -- has become some kind of drug that I can't extract myself from. So today is about detox. Slowing. Re-seeing. At least I hope it is.
In the meantime, here are a few observations and recommendations I've gathered:
-run don't walk to "Sex & the City"
-run don't walk to "Baby Mama"
(in fact, I'd really like to spend all my days from now until labor watching extended versions of both of those films).
-Buy some wheat germ to put on your yogurt and cut up cantaloupe
-Buy cantaloupe, oranges and strawberries -- they are peaking! (is that true in the east too?)
-Eggs from the farmers' market have yolks that are shades brighter and richer than grocery store eggs. I have no idea what this means, but now I only want the bright ones.
-Hooks on the back of public bathroom doors = great inventions. The lack of a hook = my bag swinging off my back as I lean down to perch Silas on the toilet and, without fail, whacking him on the head
-Pee everywhere. Not something I recommend as much as something I'm experiencing. Turns out that two things are difficult: one, running fast enough with a 2 year old to a bathroom, especially in a large store, to avoid any wet clothes, and two, making sure all boy equipment is pointed down while being used to avoid fountains and floor-puddles. Yesterday there was even pee in Silas's CROCs, and I had to sit him in a sink in a public bathroom and wash his feet and shoes... yes, I was pretty sure that violated some kind of health standards.
-Jasmine in gardens = heavenly smelling breezes
And WHO is responsible for sticking warning labels on items? Here are two:
-I ordered some "green" Simple. shoes recently. And as I was trying them on -- yellow burlap-like mary janes with recycled tire rubber soles -- I noticed a sticker inside: Not meant to be used as a flotation device.
-I also just bought a plastic step stool for Silas. The sticker adhered to the side: Not intended for children under 3 years of age - choking hazard.