Tuesday, January 15, 2013

on strike / hiding / drinking / fleeing

Call it what you will; it is 7:31 and I am downstairs while bedtime stomps and romps and screams about toothpaste above me.  Today was a weird day -- weird because we started school on a Tuesday (due to the lovely diarrhea and throw-up fairies that visited us Sunday) but I thought it was Monday and missed Tuesday things; weird because Maeve broke out of her swaddle every nap and cried as two wild arms flapped around her bed; weird (and wearying) because, though she usually drops right off to sleep, today I walked and re-walked her up and down the stairs because despite nuzzling my face and yawning, she wouldn't sleep; weird because she screamed when I tried to nurse her; weird because outside's damp cold seemed to seep in through every door and window; weird because I baked Huckleberry Bakery's apple butter cake and it was just ok; weird because I started cleaning out a few problem areas and ended up with piles on the floor; weird because I'd rather not hear anyone say "mom" again for two weeks; weird because I've lost hope of confidently leaving Maeve with a babysitter ever so I can leave the house alone.


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