Sunday, January 24, 2010


Last night I saw Eden and Silas after 6 days and nights away. Our reconnection was all sweetness and snuggles. Somehow in my brief time away, I completely forgot that Eden can talk. I was expecting to see Silas and a sweet baby-ish girl. Quite a surprise when I climbed into the car to her high little voice saying, "Mommy! Mommy airport-I go airport-do it! do it!- go airport!-Pops driving-BB Mommy- Mommy come back -Eden get out-I get out-go airport-hold you mommy-" How could I possibly have forgotten her language?

Last night I had a dream that I left Eden in the McDonald's parking lot on a busy road near my parents' house. Just as I was slamming the car in reverse to go back to her, I saw her stepping into traffic. So I flew out of the car and ran to her just as she fell and skinned her knee, a man (nice one) picked her up and a huge dog ran toward her. Do you think my subconscious doubts my ability to re-acclimate to the mother role? It would seem so.

And today I find that I'm somewhat prophetic as I fell myself fumble for my footing. Silas is beginning to unearth swallowed anger at my leaving (including a tantrum in the corner of Cactus Cantina today involving fists in the air and his whole body "dancing" with frustration -- once again, I'm thinking of Brett and Germain). So we are now of to have some "feshul time" at the zoo, just the two of us.

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